Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
