I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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