the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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