I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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