Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
