Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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