Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am in a vortex of obligation.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
