i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
