Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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