do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize