She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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