do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
