ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
