well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize