Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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