My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
