This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
