So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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