omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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