Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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