just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
