Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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