If that was your dad, he is hot
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
