I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
