My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
