rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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