My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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