you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
