Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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