i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
