the condom got lost in my hair
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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