i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
