So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
