As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
