you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
