Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
