i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
