I'm going to jail i love you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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