I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
