super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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