I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
