Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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