I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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