just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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