No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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