dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize