all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
