Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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