dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
