He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
