We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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