yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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