i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
