I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
