he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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