i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i came on her dog
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
