Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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