hotel room ftw
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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