I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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