i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
